i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.