I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me