Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
