You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
