I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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