But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
