so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
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I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
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How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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