Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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