he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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