you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
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Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
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And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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