I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
