so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
