the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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