can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
