Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
