He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
