I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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