If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I am midnight drunk by noon
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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