is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
