i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
