it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
