No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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