he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
