we have officially lost it.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
