dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize