You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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