I'm lost and stupid without you.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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