Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
two words...techno handjob
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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