You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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