Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
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I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
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T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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