I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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