Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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