I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Its about making memories worth repressing
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
