the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
