I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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