Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
