Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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