i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
