He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
