Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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