I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
