I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
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