Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
