It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
