I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
