Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Sorry about my life...
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
