none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
