oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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