I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
