You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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