brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize