You made me cry and you don't even care
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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