when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
