so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
