Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
