i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
