You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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