If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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