You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
